Divorce is often perceived negatively, despite its prevalence. In the US, nearly 41% of first marriages end in divorce, and the emotional turmoil that follows can be overwhelming for both parties involved—especially when infidelity is a factor. In these moments, guilt, anger, sadness, and anxiety often dominate, making it difficult to imagine parting ways with respect and dignity.
Dr Quratulain Zaidi, a clinical psychologist at MindNLife in Hong Kong, advocates for a more compassionate and emotionally intelligent approach to separation. Instead of resorting to blame or creating a toxic environment to justify leaving, she encourages couples to reflect on their shared history and to handle the end of a relationship with intentional kindness.
Divorce doesn’t have to destroy the family unit. Instead, it can be seen as a reorganisation of the family, especially when children are involved. A marriage represents years of shared memories, challenges, and love—not just the problems that led to the separation. Honouring that past can help both individuals move on with greater peace and self-respect.
As Belgian therapist Esther Perel wisely puts it, “The legacy of a shared life is bigger than the legacy of the affair.” Dignity in divorce allows for a more graceful ending and can reduce long-term resentment.
In some cases, couples may not want to separate but feel disconnected. Dr Zaidi also shares strategies to rebuild intimacy and prevent the relationship from deteriorating.
Dr Zaidi offers several suggestions for those navigating the decision to separate that you can read about in detail in this article.
